blame it on the boogie

just like ABBA sang - thank you for the music, the songs we're singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing. who can live without it, i ask in all honesty, what would life be? without a song or a dance what are we? so i say thank you for the music, for giving it to me.

one of my biggest regrets is not being able to play any instrument. do vocal chords count?

music is the love of my life. who would argue with that? wonderful. not just R & B, but good old 80s music. maybe it contributes to emo-ness, but it just makes me happy.

so being able to hear music is a gift. heaven sent. it's not so much like eating, where u can have 3 michelin stars, but it's just ingested, excreted and that's that. so much for food. nowadays im so sick of food. ok chicken? done. eat more veges? done. fish, duck, foie gras, snails, liver, intestines...beef? the rest is what...carbo? ban mian, noodles, rice, pasta, croissant, subway, burgers...everyday we eat the same thing it's just so sian. so i eat to keep full. but of course i do enjoy food. give me hokkien mee, sting ray, almond jelly, tony romas ribs, greenwood fish, gelare waffles, oh the works...anytime. that's the problem when u drive everywhere - u eat until sian. then it's all meaningless - refer to Ecclesiastes. meaningless.

but somehow music is different. it's indescribable.

sometimes i wake up and i think, what if i'm dead - i'm gone forever. it's such a depressing feeling, i imagine every part of my body vapourising. for a brief moment, i begin to treasure every part of my body. i begin to miss myself, looking at myself 100 years down the road when i'm dead and gone (yes, the song). how could life be so...sad

i drove back to chinese high that day. from the clock tower, i looked down at the track and saw all the little boys training. a few years back i was one of those minions slogging my life away, training 4 times a week for the 'glory of the school', then 2 years slogging for the 'nation'. everything is a process, u are just a pawn in this game. u are just another product of the factory. u are replaceable. if u're defective, off you go, from the production line, into the bin. and the cycle of life continues on and on. so you think u're a superstar, you're a gold medallist, a record holder. a few years later, some youngster will beat your record. a few years later, the same type of students will get the same scoldings from the same track n field teacher, get the same kind of academic results, go to the same schools, we cant help but put you in a box, because that's what life does to all of us. and occasionally there are the 3 dimensional people, the larger-than-life people, but these are few and far between, like the blue diamond being auctioned off for a record price. those are like vicissitudes of life - random and rare.

nevertheless, being gone forever is a sad thing. each and every person is unique. if they're gone forever, it's such a waste. there was once a GP question which proposed the statement : society needs its eccentrics. indeed, each and every individual is a unique entity and that's the concept - beauty in diversity.

but without a God, we're all gone. now you see it now you don't. how sad is that. all the achievements count for nothing.

on the other hand, being in heaven for an eternity is unfathomable. how? is there a middle ground between eternally alive and eternally gone? which one is better?

this is just about the epitomy of randomness

school of hard knocks

a lot of people wish they are schooling forever, refusing to start work.

my sentiments are quite the opposite. being financially independent is a form of self-empowerment. you have self-respect, u dont ask money from your parents, no one bosses u around (except at work). you dont have to always subscribe to what your parents think (this is different from respecting ur parents, if u know what i mean).

it's disappointing when people who do not earn their own money spend it like nobody's business. eat good food, buy good stuff. i am guilty of that, too. but at least i earn some of my own money.

when u only know how to enjoy life, not how to save, how to earn your own keep, that's when u should be worried. because u are a professional at consumption, which anyone can be good at, and not a professional at investment - investing in vital skills which will provide u with the necessary funds for consumption.

when your life is so happy and dandy, happening, social, u have financial freedom thanks to ur parents, good for you. but when shit happens, it's gonna hit one so hard he/she wouldn't come around to realising what hit him. and sometimes, one problem is all it takes to bring a person down.

a very good example is when u put a lot of emotions into one person. never ever let the person become your emotional pillar. it's almost always unavoidable, but when that happens, and when u lose the person, due to natural causes or otherwise, ur world crumbles. and people sometimes never recover from that.

i guess that's what a lot of people lack - lack of threats to emotional or financial security. i still believe that adversity hardens people. for me, for all that i've seen and experienced, it has made me numb. which isn't good. but living too sheltered a life is dangerous. sometimes protection is a form of harm.

there are many kinds of friends - the ones you go out with, the ones who really listen to you, the ones who hang out with you cos they think you're cool, others who hang out with you because they have something to get out of you, everything happens for a reason.

in law sch, as many have told me, you get more of the make-use-of-you category. people who come to you if they think you're a smart deans lister, if you're a good-looker, if you're happening, if you can find cool places to eat with them etc etc.

personally, i dont go for the fairweather types. i stay clear of them. already as it is, it's pretty hard to identify who belongs to that category. thank God for genuine people in law sch, people who are not exactly the most gd looking, rich, happening, but whom you know will be there for you if you need them, anytime, anyday, just as I expect myself to do likewise.

people who do not judge X simply because of what people say about X. these are the people i respect and need as friends. people who are willing to know u better and see for themselves what kind of person u are instead of merely listening to what others say about X and condemning X. people who actually have a mind of their own.

but i think, no more mr nice guy. no more fetching whoever all the way back to your doorstep, or offering to do so. dont expect such things from me anymore (that doesnt mean i wont do it - just dont expect it) because i find that no matter what u do for certain ppl, going out of your way to fetch them, it counts for shit. they dont appreciate it, they sometimes make fun of u (ok it may be jokes but there's a limit), they just take it for granted.

but among all others, i'd like to thank God for good friends, because they got my back, and I got theirs.

i dont understand how come ppl have 381839769 friends on facebook. i mean, ask urself, when it comes to the crunch, how many ppl can u truly rely on and call for help? that's the litmus test.

What do AWARE and NUM have in common?

I've decided to revive this blog because i'm insanely free nowadays and i'm totally digging it.

on a side note:

Walk into any New Urban Male shop, and u'll see the likes of

SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN

RESPECT YOUR ELDERS

ARE YOU AWARE?

it's hilarious.